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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Something to Believe in … Dangling Participle Included

So something happened to me the other day that made me stop and ponder. And as a first Blog Post in a new system it's good to have something to ponder.

Without going into too much detail, I had recently been "hanging out" with a person that I've grown to admire. During the summer I actually asked if this person would be interested in dating, but alas it was not to be. This worked out pretty well for me since I've been a little distant when it comes to relationships. Anyway, with time passing and friendship being stronger than desire we've maintained a steady relationship that is really cool. Why mention this? Because way back in the recesses of my mind, I could see myself eventually getting together with a person of her caliber. Maybe not her per se, but definitely a person like her: Strong, Intelligent, Fun and really attractive.

So enter the other day. Without provocation, it was re-enforced to me that we were not dating. She had been going through "relationship" discussions with ex-boyfriends who thought that things were still happening and wanted to make sure things weren't going in that direction with us. I assured her that we already discussed this back in July and that there was nothing more on my mind about it.

But as I got home and thought about things … I was wrong. I held onto the belief that something could happen … even if I didn't want to actually admit it. I found myself talking about the greatness of this person to others, which means I was a little smitten. So … if that was (is) the case, I felt a little hurt by the situation. And l started down a road that I normally fall when I'm hurt … I eat.

Well that isn't the positive direction that I wanted. So I pulled myself out of my funk and decided, "You knew this wasn't going to happen, so stop beating yourself up. Take that energy and do something productive." So I started working on the concept of Hope and the willingness to change. And if Hope is removed what detriment does that means to the human spirit?

Hope, in my life, has driven me to become a stronger and more influential person. I don't have a drive to be the most visible/famous person in the world. My drive comes from the hope to help someone through a situation. If I can be a person dependable to those around me than I would be the person I know I should be. What are those characteristics? Intelligence? Strength? Moral Fortitude? Each of those attributes are places that I've worked when I have had the Hope that something better was in store. I believe that greatness is found unexpectedly by those who are prepared by Hope.

Regardless of your ideologies, human nature uses Hope to find the best possible us we can be. Hope for a better salary. Hope for a unity of race and creed. Hope that the Almighty doesn't smite us for being so intolerable and self-centered. We need our beliefs to be held in high regard so we have that Hope. And in turn create the best versions of us that we can create!

Now in regards to my friend, I still think the world of her, and I still hold the possibility that something might happen in the future. For now, it's innocent na├»ve Hope, but it keeps me improving so that one day I can be worthy of that caliber of person. I mean really, if I don't grow then what is the point of it all? So my Hope keeps me growing stronger, it keeps me focused, it keeps me driving towards the best. One day I know I'll get it … and that's something I believe in!!!

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